


Mexico sequel

by ARMEN15



Category: Brokeback Mountain (2005)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-02
Updated: 2019-03-06
Packaged: 2019-05-01 03:36:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 10,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14511684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ARMEN15/pseuds/ARMEN15
Summary: A work reposted from ff:net Sorry for the delay, It will be completed.





	1. Chapter 1

Ennis became used to packing things. I could start a business in moving furniture he thought, while emptying the small closet he started using only six weeks before.  
Ten days were not enough for worrying, they came and went so fast. One to return home, one to talk with the foreman, one to close his meagre bank account, and so on.  
Sometimes Ennis let his mind roam freely and wondered why he decided to call Childress only a few days ago.  
What strange force took control of his mind and made him do something so potentially dangerous, so terrible for all those involved? But now his brain was against every attempt at rationalising the situation, so Ennis resigned and erased from his memory whatever Mexican trip he made, transforming it into a sort of dream.  
That way, he could always pretend it never happened.  
What was important, now, was the possibility to see Jack soon, to start a different life. One that could make him forget the divorce and its' bitterness.  
Leaving Riverton meant a new kind of freedom, a place where nobody would point at him whispering “He’s Alma's ex-husband, the poor cowboy she left for a better life.”  
Alma was surprised when he showed up at her house with $500 in cash as child support, partly from Jack and partly his own. Ennis told Alma he would be very busy soon but he refused to explain further; she wasn’t a part of his life anymore.  
He left the house muttering “See you later,” and waited outside for his girls.  
Ennis chose the Saturday dinner he was now used to spending with his daughters, to tell them he was leaving Riverton.  
He was worried about their reaction – he feared female emotions like tears and maybe words full of anger directed against him.  
He couldn’t let them know the truth. Sometimes he couldn’t know it himself, so he chose to disguise his departure as a work opportunity.  
Ennis decided to let the girls eat before speaking, sure that two young girls full of hamburgers and fries would be less inclined to overreact.  
The portions were large and Junior said hers was too much. She started noticing her body recently and puberty was transforming her thin frame. The divorce between her parents was a shock and she spent nights awake in her bed trying to understand why.  
“Do you want an ice cream?” Ennis offered.  
“No thanks Dad, that was enough.” Junior answered.  
“I want it Dad, can I have hers also?” Jenny was like a bottomless pit, Ennis thought, so similar to Jack when he was hungry.  
He often imagined during sleepless nights, that if he and Jack could mysteriously have children together, Junior would be like him and Jenny a perfect Miss Twist.  
“Yes you can, but don’t tell your Mama that you ate two, promise?” He added with a wink to his youngest.  
“Sure Dad, Mama always says I eat too much.”  
And she is right, Ennis agreed in his mind, looking at the way the ice creams were disappearing from the cups.  
“I’ve had a new job offer last week. A friend asked me to work in his ranch up in Lightning Flat.”  
“Where is it Dad?  
“North from here. I think 3 or 4 hours driving.” Better to avoid too many details too soon.  
"He says it’s a beautiful place . He’s returning home after ten years away.”  
“You’re going to accept?” Junior enquired. Ennis noticed she was quiet like her sister.  
“I think so. I’ll be his foreman. He wants to make changes and improve the ranch.”  
“So you’ll leave soon.”  
“I think so, but I’ll be back every other weekend to see you.”  
He didn’t worry about where to stay during those weekends because Junior was tense and his goal was to leave without discussion. There was always the Siesta Motel for a night.  
“And you could spend the summer holidays with me.”  
“They have horses?” Jennie’s question was completely unexpected.  
“Yes, and I can take my horses with me.”  
“So you could teach us how to ride horses when we visit you Dad? Mama always refuses saying it’s too dangerous.”  
That had often been a sore point between he and Alma. She refused to allow the girls to follow Ennis’ way of life. She wanted them to became city girls, not the daughters of a poor cowboy.  
She insisted on music lessons from an old lady who sang the armonium every Sunday at church and owned an old piano.  
Monroe, Alma’s boss at the grocery store, gave her an advance to pay for those lessons. When Ennis discovered this, he went mad but Alma was resolute.  
“Your Mama is worried about you, but I never hurt myself on a horse, I swear.”  
“Yes Dad, we know you’re the best rider in Wyoming," Junior said teasingly.  
Ennis was happy for the laughs that followed from both girls. They could make fun of him for the whole night if that meant accepting his choice.

 

He made a quick choice of what to take with him. The reality was that his belongings were few, consisting mainly of what Alma gave him after the divorce. The best was an old sofa and some kitchen tableware. Everything went smoothly and fast. Two big bags, a mattress, a selection of unbroken plates and glasses, a few cans of vegetables and meat.  
The life of a man reduced to three hundred pounds of things.  
The main problem was his horses. He talked with Joe Ferguson, a colleague from the ranch, who agreed to drive his horse trailer to another ranch, owned by Jack’s cousin Peter, where Jack would be waiting for him. Then CB and Candy would remain for a few days in Peter's barn until Ennis could move them using Twist Senior’s trailer from Lightning Flat.  
Ennis was afraid to meet Peter Nelson, the first relative of Jack's he would have met.  
He was as nervous as a young husband meeting the family of his bride for the very first time.  
Jack told him twice on the phone to quieten down. There was no need for Peter to know everything about them; he promised to explain to Peter that Ennis was there to help him.  
As a matter of fact, cousin Peter was twice the size of Jack and very friendly, happy to see his relative after three years and pleased also to meet Ennis, whom he recognised as a true cowboy like him.  
His ranch was small but the barn contained a dozen promising horses.  
“I’ve bought two new mares three years ago and now the results are coming.” he explained Ennis while showing him the property.  
“This year I’m going to show the horses at the Boulder Fair.”  
“I bet you’ll receive lots of offers for them.”  
“I’d like to be a breeder but I need more space for the horses. Now that Jack is back we could talk.”  
Ennis agreed and the two men started a discussion about the virtue of race horses, to the delight of Jack who was listening. He thought it was a miracle to make Ennis talk with a stranger.  
“If you need help for the hardest tasks at Uncle John’s ranch call me – Peter told Jack later – I’ve two cowboys here and my Tommy is now 15, he can help too.”  
“Thanks Peter, I have some ideas, but first I want Ennis to see the place.”  
“Your ranch needs a good month’s work to fix the fences, but it’s a great idea to come home. Without somebody new it would collapse soon.”  
“There were too many problems in Texas.”  
“If you and Uncle Twist don't get along I could offer you a job myself.” Peter told Ennis, who was pleased to receive a compliment from the stranger. He felt relieved, his fears eased a little.  
“So you two met in ’63?” Peter asked.  
He seemed at ease talking about ordinary things, so Ennis decided to answer. Jack was faster as usual.  
“Long time ago.”  
“Not far from here if I remember well?”  
“Yes, herding sheep up on Brokeback Mountain.”  
The glance Ennis gave Jack hearing those words was one of longing for innocence lost, for a summer that flowed away too fast.  
“Ennis, you must be a saint to manage my little cousin for a whole summer. Jack has always talked a lot since he was a kid.”  
“And still does.” Ennis pointed out, caressing the back of his horses. Peter noticed.  
“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of your boys. Tommy will lead them outside for a walk everyday. Now go home, Auntie Claire is so excited, she can't stop talking about her boy coming back home.”  
Ennis took Jack’s elbow when Peter turned, leading the horses away.  
“Her boy? Did you tell your ma about me?”  
“Yes Ennis, I told her I was with a friend but had no time to fully explain. I started with the divorce then she became worried for Bobby and I couldn’t add anything more.”  
“Jack please I only ask for no more lies.”  
“I swear Ennis, I was going to tell her you were coming to help fix the ranch but she started talking about Bobby and how sorry she was for him. But she surely knows I’m arriving with a friend.  
Jack seemed truthful so Ennis forgave him.  
“I kept my mouth closed also ‘cause I wanted to see you beforehand, to discuss with you what I can tell them about your presence.  
“You can tell the truth about me being divorced and us being friends since ’63.”  
Ennis was so honest he sometimes bordered on foolishness, but this time Jack was very careful with his words. It was a sort of miracle to have Ennis here and Jack wasn’t willing to risk anything. Sometimes when he was visiting, he talked about Ennis with his parents, but John once said he believed that “Ennis” wasn’t real.  
“You had better meet my Pa first and then decide what to explain.”  
“Ok ok, if you say so.”  
“I’ll tell only you need a change after the divorce and are a damned good rancher. Then we’ll see. Now its time to go.”  
“You first, I’ll follow.”


	2. Chapter 2

Title: I Can’t Lose You Again. 

Chapter 2

This is the sequel to “Mexico”, ten days after its end. 

Disclaimer: the talented Mrs Proulx owns the original story and characters. 

Special thanks to my dear beta Carol and Paula, and to Onefreetoroam for the title idea. 

 

Jack drove ahead of Ennis along roads getting narrower, following the shape of the hills that interrupted the platform of the plain. Nobody was on the road, they met only a black truck at a gas station.  
When at a small crossroad, the asphalt gave way to the dust and they entered into a large depression.   
Jack turned suddenly to the right following, for a minute or so, a small path along a dried river, whose banks were lined with some trees. He turned the engine off before opening the driver’s door. Ennis copied his actions but remained in the truck, watching his man come toward him.  
He was ready to speak and complain about the unplanned stop when he saw something serious in Jack’s eyes.  
Desire.  
Hunger.   
Love.  
Jack approached the older truck and put a hand on Ennis’ knee, feeling the heat from that strong body.  
The other hand went to Ennis' shoulder and softly caressed the bones underneath the thick denim fabric.  
Jack was looking at him and Ennis felt weak under that gaze, like a young girl facing her real first crush.  
Ennis closed his eyes and didn’t dare to breathe, it was intoxicating to have Jack again so close, to feel his touch and smell his unique musk.  
A mix of man’s cologne, the beer drunk with Peter and the peculiar taste of Jack’s own skin after a long drive under the summer sky.  
The hand on his thigh moved up a little, Jack’s finger brushed against Ennis’ crotch that reacted and became hard. Ennis tried to speak.  
“Jack, we cannot...”   
Jack’s head inclined more to find the right angle and Ennis’ - despite his feeble attempts of protest - lowered a little, until their lips touched briefly, sending a shot to their brains. Soon teeth crashed and lips became swollen while Ennis’ arms moved to clasp Jack at his waist to keep him close, then closer, until Jack had to move back to breathe.  
“We cannot what?” Jack asked seductively. “This path leads to the old mill, it is abandoned since the river dried.”  
Ennis looked briefly around – searching for proof of Jack’s words – then grasped Jack’s belt and opened it, not caring if the buckle was grazing his hand, opening the fly of the trousers, putting his hand inside in search of Jack’s cock. His own was shouting so he grabbed and pulled Jack’s ass until their crotches rubbed together.   
Jack was more than eager to comply and with their trousers at their knees they started to dry hump half laying on the truck’s seats.   
Nobody was around, Ennis took Jack’s face in his hands and in a low voice, full of lust, asked.  
“Make love to me.”  
Jack simply nodded, words were impossible for the moment. Ennis wasn’t a man inclined to express his desires with words, he was better using his hands, his eyes or his head.   
During the years Jack learned how to read his lover’s silence and although he would have iked to hear more that raspy voice, he accepted – as usual – what Ennis was willing to offer.   
Now there was surely progress; Ennis had decided to follow him to Lightning Flat and Jack was sure his man wasn’t used to changing his mind too often.   
But it become impossible for Jack to think clearly while two large hands were massaging his back, forming slow, lazy circles that made his skin tickle. He was lying on the seats, seeing nothing but dark leather. The hands went lower, caressing the cheeks slowly, so slowly, reaching with long, expert fingers to find the pleasure point. Jack wanted to feel Ennis inside him soon, but he was not inclined to spoil the moment.   
Ennis was touching the right places and Jack turned his head to have his attention. They kissed again, more frantically, trying to conquer each other’s mouth. Both hard as rocks, Ennis worked first one, then two fingers inside Jack. They had no lube immediately available, so he didn’t want to hurt Jack like their first time.  
When he finally entered Jack, they started moving together, forgetting the world outside, Mexican trips, their families, the need for work.  
What was important was to be together, to breathe together for a few minutes, to cancel the reality while making love.

Claire Twist was sitting on the front porch of her house with mending work in her hands.  
She was waiting for her son like she did for the most part of her life, especially since Jack took root in Texas and had a boy there. Her patience made the wait less hard.  
When Jack first left in 1963 for a summer as a shepherd, she was sure he’d be back soon after finishing the job but in 1964, when he headed for Texas, rodeo season and all, Claire started worrying a lot about her boy.  
Now he was coming home - divorced and without work but not alone. There was a friend, Jack said briefly on the phone. Claire was deeply surprised; Jack was a lonely boy and had always been so, never bringing friends at home during junior and high school.  
The reason was his father, he explained one day while they were chatting, but Claire felt deeply sorry for the sad youth of her only child.  
Jack was afraid his friends could be despised by Twist Senior and he was sure he would be addressed with cutting words in front of them.  
After a classic Bob Seeger’s song, the radio gave the 4 pm sign and Claire was happy; her husband was working somewhere in the ranch as usual and she hoped to see Jack alone first, wanting to meet also his friend. She imagined it could be the famous Ennis Jack so often talked about, remembering their summer together.  
Her hopes were fulfilled ten minutes later when a grey cloud started from south following the way of their private road.   
Claire stood up immediately, throwing her mending work on the basket. The brilliant silver light became Jack’s truck, a model she didn’t recognize, bigger and more sparkling than before.  
Jack went down in a hurry and threw himself into his mother’s waiting arms.  
It was good as always to be with Mom, she smelled of food, lavender and youth. His youth that started and died in that same place twelve years ago.

Ennis slowly left the truck, his eyes taking note of the surroundings; the small house with stained walls needing a good repainting, the barn – he felt in his gut that it was quite deserted, there were no usual signs of horses or mules or cows – the fields of dry soil.   
Ennis spoke few words, but that didn’t mean he was unable to speak with his eyes – Jack had lots of memories about this. He was there for his new job, he repeated to himself over and over, to forget what happened near the old mill.  
They washed with the remaining water of the fountain outside the mill, but Ennis was sure Jack’s perfume was impressed on his skin.   
It was crazy and dangerous, but he wondered if somebody else could smell it.   
Ennis took his time to make a mental note of what the ranch needed, while the couple continued their hugging. Jack was speaking in his mothers’ ear and she was smiling, a genuine smile that stirred a long suppressed memory in Ennis’ brain.  
His own mother calling Ennis and his sister from the kitchen door at dinnertime, Mary running faster with her thin legs towards her to receive a big hug, while Ennis purposely ran slower and remained outside watching the scene.  
He felt an outsider also now, Mrs. Twist was drowning in Jack’s embrace, that man was taller than his mother and his arms easily captured the small frame of the older woman.  
Not so old, Ennis thought, Claire was maybe in her early sixties, with hair still dark and beautiful hands, that were now caressing Jack’s shoulder like Ennis used to do when they were together in the wilderness.  
He felt a sting of jealousy because Claire had the right to freely touch Jack, it was mixed with rage for the confusion still inside him.   
Ennis erased that thought as fast as he could, because it was a product of the voice that was still repeating him to run away from such a dangerous situation.   
Time slowed, then stopped when Jack turned and looked at him with a expression so happy that Ennis’ heart skipped a beat.  
He never had never seen Jack so complete, so at peace with himself before. He never had never seen Jack at home.   
In that moment Ennis understood that Texas was never – could never, nor with a wife, neither with a son - be Jack’s home. Brokeback mountain was closer to home than Texas, but it wasn’t the real thing.   
Jack’s words sounded like shots in Ennis’ ears when he spoke.  
“Come here, Ennis, this is my Mom. She wants to know you.”  
Ennis moved hesitantly, unsure at first, then suddenly worried about his appearance. He swiftly tucked the shirt into his trousers, passed a hand over his hair, holding his hat in the other.  
He wet his lips with a flick of tongue, they felt like a desert, like a man full of fear.   
“Good morning Mrs Twist” he croaked, wanting to offer a hand, afraid to crunch Claire’s little hands in his strong grip.  
Claire did it without hesitation and Ennis carefully took the proffered hand, feeling it smooth and soft.  
His eyes lingered on the floor, too timid to focus into the grey-green pools that were looking for his face. Claire needed to see the man that lead home her son. Her dream was taking solid roots in front of her, this time for good, she hoped for this with all her heart.   
“Welcome home, Ennis.” she said leading them both inside the house.

TBC

Please add your opinion.


	3. Chapter 3

Title: I Can’t Lose You Again. 

Chapter 3

This is the sequel to “Mexico”, ten days after its end. 

Disclaimer: the talented Mrs Proulx owns the original story and characters. 

 

John Twist Senior was smaller than Ennis had imagined. He was a man with salt and pepper hair and blue eyes but not so deep as his son’s. His entrance through the back door was silent and it went unnoticed by the group on the couch until Claire turned to take a framed picture of a young Jack from the small table on the right. Three pairs of eyes converged toward Jack’s father and three mouths silenced and two men stood up quickly.  
“Hello, Dad.” Jack said tentatively.  
During the long hours on the road he tried in vain to compose a short speech for that meeting. He always found difficult in the past to have a normal conversation with his father and the situation hadn't changed.  
“Jack,” answered the older man dryly.  
Ennis knew Jack was meeting his family after two years; he wasn’t expecting hugs and tears from Mr.Twist but did that man owned a heart or not?  
“John, this is Ennis del Mar,” Claire added and Ennis offered his hand.  
The eyes of Mr. Twist became darker and lingered over him. Ennis wasn’t a curious man but in that moment he would give everything to know that man's thoughts. Ennis didn’t want to be scrutinized by Mr. Twist's gaze and got nervous, shifting his weight from one foot to the other until John Twist took his proffered hand and shook it.  
Twist’s hand was calloused and dry, while Ennis was sweating clammy.  
It seemed the man completed his evaluation and decided Ennis was acceptable, sort of.  
“Welcome Mr Delmar,” he said briefly in a low voice, before turning toward his wife.  
Jack tried again to speak.  
“Dad.”  
“Later, Jack. Claire, I must check a horse before dinner.” John added, then went out again from the same door. It was Sunday evening but the week of a farmer never ended.  
The tension Jack was feeling in his gut disappeared as soon as his father left the room; he remembered also to breathe, because all he was able to do while Ennis was meeting the owner of the house was to pray God to avoid a fight between his father and his man.  
Claire took Ennis’s arm and gestured towards the large kitchen.  
“Dinner will be ready soon. Ennis, would you like to come with me in the kitchen?.” Ennis followed Claire like she was the late Ann Delmar.  
Jack remained alone in the sitting room, he looked around and saw nothing had changed since his last visit; it was good to have a place that was immutable, he remembered how Lureen always wanted to buy new furniture for their house every three or four years, giving him the feeling he had changed house every time. His mother’s sitting room was a constant in his life, where the only possible change was a new cushion for John’s favourite armchair. . 

Lureen...last time he saw his wife, her parents were present to discuss the divorce.  
The memory was so fresh it could have happened the day before, not two weeks ago. He decided to face the problem as soon as he returned home from Mexico, so he asked the father of Bobby’s best friend to keep the boy for the night, to remain alone with Lureen.  
He was anxious, a part of him wanted to think carefully and find the right words to use with his wife, another part – the crazy one, always the winner – only wanted to get rid of his marriage soon and be free.  
Lureen was home quite early for her standards, she seemed a little surprised that Bobby wasn’t around.  
“Dinner and night at Chad’s house. I gave permission myself. Chad’s dad will take them to school tomorrow morning”  
“You’re spoiling him.” She said sitting on the bed and throwing her high heel shoes in a corner of their bedroom. It was one of her habits that annoyed Jack a lot. He wasn’t a housekeeper, but after all those years he became more careful about his personal belongings. “Maybe because these things and this house were never really meant for me...LD wanted another husband for his baby, and only rented me this life, not gifted it. Some day he’d make me pay and that moment is now.” He said.  
“Your father does the same, too. He bought him a new plastic rifle today, but I’ve told LD I don’t want to see Bobby playing with weapons.”  
Lureen was massaging her right calf, but she was listening carefully.  
“I’ll make a call later and speak with Dad. What’s for dinner?”  
“Steak and carrots...but I need to talk with you for a while before.” Something in his tone made Lureen turn and she didn’t miss the occasion to speak first, as usual.  
“What’s happening, Jack? You returned only two days ago, didn’t make the sale you were supposed to do. You’re a good salesman, it isn’t your style ….”  
“I know Lureen, I lied about the sale because I needed time to think .... about a lot of things. To find important answers.” It wasn’t the real reason but he refused to talk about his Mexican trip with the woman who still was his wife.  
“Answers that didn’t help our business. Jack, you know we are under the quarterly budget and Peter Jones is at home with a broken shoulder...I shouldn’t have let you go away last week.”  
“Lureen listen to me, please. I’ve understood that I cannot be a Newsome’s salesman anymore. My life…our life is crumbling and I don’t want to live this way for ever. You’re not happy...”  
“I’m absolutely happy..” she replied with decision.  
“Happy at work, happy with Bobby, with your friends, but not with me, you know it.”  
Lureen’s chin was now set in the I’-m-ready-to–argue way Jack knew so well, like the day they announced LD their marriage. Jack was a little afraid, remembering how she resisted her father that day and won his approval after two hours of discussion and her mother’s tears. But nowadays he knew Lureen more than anybody else.  
“You’re my husband.”  
“I’m a in name husband only now. We sleep so many night apart I lost count.”  
“That doesn’t mean anything, we have a son, a family.”  
“Only for Bobby. We’re more business partner than husband and wife now, but you refuse to see the reality of facts.”  
“I see very well.”  
“And I remember well when you said you married me only to escape from your parents.”  
Lureen remained speechless for a bunch of seconds. It was true and she knew it, but she wasn’t defeated.  
“What do you suppose to do then?”  
“I’m asking for a divorce, I’ll leave Texas as soon as you agree.”  
“It isn’t so easy to leave me!”  
“Lureen please….don’t use your pride with me. Do you really believe you can keep me here against my will?“  
Lureen was pacing nervously the bedroom like a lioness in a small cage.  
“Everything you have here is mine!”  
“I know and I’ll leave without anything, except what I earned with my own work. I’ll leave you my half of the house…Sweetie please.” Tears were making dark lines of wet mascara on Lureen’s face.  
Jack embraced her from behind and they sat on the bed. Lureen was shaking, consumed by a sudden rage that soon freed cold hidden tears behind her eyelids, tears that were creating dark lines of wet mascara on her face  
“Shh…you’re a strong woman and a great mother. The best for Bobby.”  
Jack wasn’t surprised of his wife’s reaction, during the years they spent together he learned the savage girl he first met at the rodeo was still deep inside Lureen, now covered by the mask of the saleswoman she become.  
“Where would you go?” She asked after a long silence.  
“My parents for a while, I think.”  
“Bobby?”  
Jack took a long breath before answering.  
“He’ll stay with you. This is his home.”  
It was a painful choice for Jack, but he didn’t have enough strength to fight for him against LD for the moment.  
Lureen seemed more at ease now, Jack noticed her body was relaxed, like she was aware that their relationship was at the edge of a high cliff and that neither of them was able to avoid the last step that would make them fall.  
”I ask only to see him three times a year.”  
“For me it’s ok, the problem will be LD.”  
The name of the father-in-law was like a cold shower of reality.


	4. Chapter 4

Title: I Can’t Lose You Again. 

Chapter 4

This is the sequel to “Mexico”, ten days after its end. 

Disclaimer: the talented Mrs Proulx owns the original story and characters. 

 

No illusions, Ennis and Jack both were aware that their first night at the Twists’ ranch would be that way. They had to sleep in two different bedrooms, separated by a stairway. Jack was in his old room on the first floor, Ennis was in the small one at the top of the stairs, close to the attic. 

Claire had prepared the rooms with all the love Jack could have imagined a mother could have in her heart and show. All the details were perfect, a plaid at the foot of the beds, a glass for fresh water on the nightstands, a chair under the windows with the best view of the praire. 

Jack was really exhausted. He left his dinner quite untouched and retired early for the night. He climbed on the bed like it was a mountain and slept fully clothed - except for his boots - until 4 a.m., when he woke after a confused and unpleasant dream. He could not remember it fully, except for the image of himself running through a forest immersed in a thick fog, so thick that it was impossible to see the trees. He couldn’t slow down and was afraid to crash into a tree. 

He lit the lamp and smoked a cigarette.

He felt so alone. After so many years with Lureen, he was used to having somebody near him when he couldn’t sleep in the middle of the night. When she started using a guestroom instead of theirs, he began having problems sleeping and needed a drink to relax more and more often.

Now he missed Ennis a lot. 

He remembered their only night in the motel near the Mexican border a month ago, and how hot Ennis’ hands were when they roamed on his skin. But it couldn’t be like that under his father’s roof. Not for the moment, anyhow.

The room was becoming chilly, so Jack undressed quickly to get under the covers. His dick poked out of his boxers, hard. He fought the sudden urge to touch himself, because what he wanted the most could not be here with him and he was no longer inclined to use his own hand as a surrogate for Ennis. It was time for the real thing. 

Claire showed Ennis his room and wished him a good night, but Ennis remained awake for a long time. He moved the chair nearer to the window and sat down, looking at the stars in the clear night. They were always the same, while he had changed a lot during the past weeks, in such a way he hadn’t dared to imagine before.  
He understood that the divorce from Alma freed him from the fictional part of his life, the one in which Ennis del Mar played the role of another man, trying to be a husband, a father and a lover all together, ending the play by inflicting confusion and hurt upon everybody around him.  
When the chair became too hard for his back, he went to bed, but remained lying on top of it with eyes open, listening to the silence of the house. 

\--------

John Twist was a man of few words, Jack had always said, words especially harsh when referring to his only son, but Ennis wasn’t prepared to drive with John the following Thursday all the way to Peter’s ranch to collect his horses without speaking at all.

It seemed surreal, and although Ennis considered himself a quiet man, John Twist would be a sure winner in any national silence contest. Then, just as Ennis had started wondering if Jack was really his son – not a bundle found under a tree – Twist sr. looked at him, pointing his finger toward a small pool on the right – a nice place used as a reservoir, surrounded by a few trees and adorned by strange wooden sculptures. Their gazes met for a second and the blue in the old man’s eyes became similar to Jack’s, like pieces carved from the same stone.

After a while Ennis become more comfortable; words had been his greatest enemy in the past, maybe still were, although when he was with Jack he felt more relaxed and inclined to talk. During the first days at the Twist’s Claire asked him lots of things; she was especially curious about his daughters, the right spot to make Ennis talk a lot.  
The trailer hooked up behind the truck was making a metallic noise for every hole in the asphalt and Ennis made a mental note to ask Peter for some oil to fix it.

Peter greeted them with a broad, genuine smile - Ennis remembered he was a cousin from Claire’s side - while his wife Margie offered them cool drinks on the porch. Ennis refused politely, his only desire was to be back in Lightning Flat as soon as possible with his boys, but John decided to accept the invitation and joined a long conversation with Margie and her mother Gloria on a comfortable bench outside the kitchen.

Ennis captured glimpses of their words while passing back and forth in front of the house with the horses to lead them to the trailer. He was astonished to hear John Twist talking so much. Maybe the man was simply at ease with those people and not with him, for the moment. 

“...Claire is surely so happy, she always wanted to have Jack back. Every mother wants her babies around.” Gloria said, looking at her beloved daughter. She lost a young son years ago and Margie was raised as an only child since she was little.  
“Take another slice of cake, John.”  
“Thanks, Margie... it’s very good. Jack should have returned here sooner, after he married. I wonder what did he find so interesting in a place like Texas.”  
“Maybe his wife…” Somebody added, but Ennis was already gone.

He placed Cigar Butt in the trailer and went back. He couldn’t believe how much they were talking. They were surely Jack’s relatives, but John was behaving in a strange way.  
“….you and Claire hope to see the boy soon,” Gloria stated.  
“Claire better not hope so much, that boy never left Texas before...sure his other granddad is afraid of everything. He has lots of money and uses it only to buy ...”  
Ennis closed the trailer, being careful to check the horses twice.  
“Don’t be so negative, it couldn’t be that bad.”  
“Why not, Margie? Bobby has four grandparents and yet the Texans consider him private property. My son is so weak and that woman has him wrapped around her finger. Hey Ennis, are you okay? Can we leave?”

The conversation twisted to goodbyes and promises to meet again soon, but Ennis was a little startled at hearing Twist’s words. Apart the opinion about Jack and his faults, Ennis never imagined the old man was so sad about the absence of his only grandson, but Ennis’s and Alma’s parents had since long died, so Junior and Jenny had only cousins and aunts to remember. And all from Alma’s side, since he lost contact with his brother and sister.

He realised that family links were longer and stronger than he expected, and wondered how much Jack would miss his own son. After all, he had lived with Bobby during the last ten years. Was the sacrifice of leaving a son the price Jack must pay to be with him? 

This was how important he was to Jack. More important even than his own flesh and blood. It was a startling revelation, one that made Ennis’s stomach ache; he was feeling even more acutely the impact of the new life Jack was building here.

If they decided to settle in Lightning Flat, Ennis could see his girls easily, every weekend if he wanted to. They were not separated from him by hundreds of miles.

TBC

Please add your opinion.


	5. Chapter 5

Title: I Can’t Lose You Again. 

Chapter 5

This is the sequel to “Mexico”, ten days after its end. 

Disclaimer: the talented Mrs Proulx owns the original story and characters. 

 

John Twist behaved so quietly after they took home the horses that for the first time Ennis doubted the reality of Jack’s descriptions of his childhood.  
That was the man who had beaten his son? Who had used harsh words against him? Who was cruel to a good wife and mother?  
He wanted – more, than that, needed - to talk with Jack about it, but it was hard to find the right time. They were often separated during the days, working in different parts of the ranch. Ennis was determined to earn his stay at the ranch and insisted with Jack to help him and his parents.  
Nobody talked about money. Jack was sure his father would pay Ennis for his work.

At dinner they always ate with Jack’s parents in an atmosphere of silence, sometimes interrupted by a brief exchange between Claire and Jack. John and Claire seemed used to the silence; Claire preferred to speak with Ennis when nobody was around and Ennis - being himself a man who liked silence – accepted it too.  
Jack noticed that Ennis was always cautious when his father was talking, a subtle change; as if he was readying himself for the next confrontation. Ennis was always braced for something that never happened, because as soon as the dinner was over John Twist said goodbye everybody and went outside to do his evening chores before going straight to bed.

On Friday Claire woke up earlier than usual; she was feeling hot under the covers and decided to leave the bed for the cooler kitchen. It was still dark outside, but somebody else was awake, because there was a soft light downstairs.  
Claire found Jack sitting at the kitchen table, with a big envelope in his hand.  
He lifted his head when his mother appeared on the threshold.  
“Can’t sleep.”  
“Me either,” she replied.  
“ It’s strange, but I missed this place a lot. Missed you too, Mom.”

Claire remained silent. Her eyes were ready to spill tears but she promised herself that she would remain strong for her son. She had important questions to ask and could not do it crying.

“I believed Texas was good for you.”  
“In the end, there were always too many people around, at work, at home, my in laws....you know, Mom, at first I liked the confusion, the voices, the idea of meeting new people at every party the Newsomes gave. I was the rodeo boy, the novelty. Then I got tired of telling the story of my life to people over and over.”  
“You always liked to try new things. Remember in high school when you signed up for all the sports programs?”  
“That was another me. I was looking for something to do, to be away from here. I ended up with an unplanned child. Now I’ve found what I want, no more searching around.”  
“You’re planning to stay?” It was more than a whisper, a hope put into words that Claire was still afraid to imagine.  
“Don’t know exactly where, but ‘round here. I need time to think, and Ennis too.”  
“Ennis has a family, he told me.”  
“He got divorced six months ago, his daughters live in Riverton. Alma left him with nothing but barely enough money for a one-room flat and two horses. But he’s too proud to take charity, he wants to work for us while he’s here.”  
“Your father needs the help, but John’s also too proud a man to ask.”  
”Ennis will find a way, I know him.”  
“You’ve know him since the second summer with the sheep, haven’t you? Before Lureen?”  
“Yes, Mom, long before.”  
“Jack, I can’t be sure because I never met your wife, only saw pictures of your wedding ceremony, but did you really love her?

“Maybe at first. I tried to imagine how love was.... I was so lonely and she was like a long drink of water for a thirsty man. I was a fool, though. After meeting her father, I should have run away, but she pleaded with me, and Bobby came before I knew it. I bet she did it deliberately, because I never talked seriously about babies with her.”  
“You know, I’d like to see him, just once..he’s the only grandson I’ll have.”  
Claire looked at Jack with a strange light in her eyes, the way she spoke about the “only grandson” was somehow definitive, irrevocable, a sort of admission that there was no other woman who was meant for Jack. 

“The divorce papers say I can have him for three weeks during summer vacation. I hope to bring him up here soon.” Jack sometimes thought about the pain that his parents might have felt at never being able to meet Bobby, their only grandson, but he never had the strength to discuss the matter with Lureen. In Texas, the Twists were considered as not socially acceptable people, not eligible to be invited to a barbeque at the Newsome mansion.

Claire closed her eyes for a moment. It was a long awaited dream that could come true, to have all her family reunited under the same roof. And – in the strange ways only a mother knows - she understood that to have Jack around she must prevent Ennis’ departure.  
“We could give Bobby the room near the bathroom, after cleaning and painting it. Get some new furniture. We could change Ennis’ too; he’s sleeping in a small bed now, so uncomfortable. If you like I’ll talk to your father as soon as possible.”

“Thanks a lot, Mom, Ennis would be happy to help and we could surely buy new beds. For him and Bobby.” For the moment it was what Jack was hoping for. The future, like having his own house with Ennis, could wait.  
“If my boys are happy I’ll be the luckiest woman in the world.”  
“I love you, Mom,” Jack said, standing up to place a kiss on the top of Claire’s head, smelling her familiar scent.


	6. Chapter 6

Title: I Can’t Lose You Again. 

Chapter 6

This is the sequel to “Mexico”, ten days after its end. 

Disclaimer: the talented Mrs Proulx owns the original story and characters. 

 

Ennis and Jack spent next the Sunday afternoon riding Ennis’ horses toward the western border of the ranch. For lunch, Mrs Twist cooked one of her most elaborate meals ever- roast, potatoes, salad, a soup made of pumpkin, chicken wings and a berry pie - happy to see all the food disappear into her men’s mouths.

Jack noticed Ennis was particularly quiet - often not a good sign in a man like his - and tried to behave as usual, doing light chatting and asking small questions during the first half hour of their ride.

Ennis answered only with “yes” or “no,” but appeared to be comfortable. They reached the top of a hill and stopped to let the horses drink from an old bath full of water. 

Ennis dismounted. He sighed.  
Jack was unable to resist any more.  
“Is something bothering you?” He asked in a tone he hoped sounded normal, hiding his doubts in a deep part of his mind.

“Some days ago I was listening to your relatives; they were talking about you and Bobby. If you are gonna live here, it means without him, am I right?”  
“Technically, yes.”  
“You’re going to miss him?”  
“I think so, like you with the girls.”  
“But it’s different, they’re girls, they must stay with their mother.”  
“While Bobby is a boy....”

Ennis nodded, but this confrontation was going nowhere, Ennis sudden realised.

“I don’t believe you wouldn’t want them here! There’s no difference between sons and daughters, Ennis, we love them the same.”

“Yes, but it was Alma who took the girls away, while you left Bobby on your own.”  
“I know, it was very painful, but LD’d never give me my boy. I had to make a hard choice and to have Bobby with me was impossible for now.”  
“I feel I’m the reason you abandoned your only son.”  
“You aren’t. I was the reason. I left Texas, my life and its hundred mistakes. Bobby wasn’t one of them, but he’s the price I have to pay.”  
“It will be hard. For you both.”

“It already is, Ennis. I can only hope to see him early this summer.” Jack’s face was painful to see while he was talking about his son.  
“Jack, if you want to change your mind I’ll leave immediately. “  
“Change your about ..us? “  
“About Bobby, or here, or me…promise me that you’ll tell me, Jack.“

“I don’t want to change my mind, I’ve waited more than 10 years to make this choice.”

Jack’s voice rose and the veins on his neck tensed. He turned and reached the nearer fence, kicked it twice then he let his weight rest upon it. The old wood creaked and groaned under the rough treatment. 

Ennis remained in his spot for a few seconds, hoping to see Jack turn back toward him. 

When he realised his man was pissed off, he went up to Jack and put a hand on his shoulder. Nobody was around and he hoped Jack didn’t think the absence of people was the only reason for doing it. Jack had no reactions, so Ennis spoke.  
“Jack, please!”

“You’re not getting the point, Ennis,” Jack said, now facing his man. His greatest fear was a that Ennis would break down, or that he’d make a sudden escape, or that there would be a harsh discussion between them or with his father. Jack was trying to be cautious, to avoid the risk of triggering Ennis’ fears.  
“I’m so afraid sometimes, I need you to make me see everything.”  
“You cannot be always afraid, we are grown up men.”  
“I’m only a stubborn cowboy, I never travelled so far from home…. It’s all so new for me. Forgive me.”

Jack placed a hand on Ennis’s arm, he didn’t expect such a declaration of vulnerability from a true cowboy. 

“We could have a family here.”

“It’a dream, Jack, we live under the same roof as your parents, how can you even think about living with me?”  
Ennis didn’t’ noticed the sparkle in Jack’s eyes in time. If he had, he would never have said those fateful words. 

“There is an old house about 3 miles from mine. Uncle Harold lived there with his young wife before moving to a bigger home. Ma says their father built it, it’s small but still has a roof on it. Maybe tomorrow we could go and check it. “

His last words lingered in the air. It was maybe too soon to introduce Ennis to new projects, but he wanted to give him time to reflect about them. 

 

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

This is the sequel to “Mexico”, ten days after its end. 

Disclaimer: the talented Mrs Proulx owns the original story and characters. 

 

Next Tuesday.

Jack and Ennis didn’t visit the old house the day after, or the next. They worked hard for two days, then Tuesday at noon Thomas Everett telephoned to repair the tractor. He was available only the following Friday, when Jack and John were scheduled to meet the bank manager to discuss about a a new rent.

John was eager to visit the bank.

He was well aware that the ranch and the house were in bad condition and he had to make a lot of repairs, if he wanted to continue living there. He simply needed money. The presence of his son, more used to discussing incomes and finance, was good and John decided to take advantage of it. Furthermore, although his old problems with Jack were still present, he recognized the spark of life in Claire’s eyes at having Jack at home again.

Now they were trying to solve their immediate problem at the lunch table, while Claire pretended to be busy with the oven. 

“You should stay here…” John began, without completing the sentence. The truth was that Jack was the guarantee of the operation, especially thanks to his newly opened bank account with a five figure balance …transferred from Texas.  
John hated to admit – to himself or anyone else - the importance of Jack’s presence, but he was old and wise enough to cope with it.   
“But I need to talk to the bank teller about my life insurance.”

It was a half lie, because Jack closed and cashed it his life insurance before leaving Texas to have his money back; he had a plan that was going well.  
“So we must reschedule the meeting.” John concluded.  
“Well, Ennis could stay here and wait for Thomas,” Jack offered, trying to sound as normal as possible. It would be the first time that Ennis would meet someone in Lightning Flat other than Jack’s relatives. Against his desire and his natural curiosity, Jack knew too well that Ennis should meet Thomas alone; he knew that Ennis could manage just fine on his own. Surely Ennis was qualified to talk about equipment, engines and spare parts.

John gave Ennis a quick glance. The man hadn’t spoken a single word after Thomas’ call. “It’s a Ford tractor. Have you ever seen one?”

“Five or six Fords and an old Chubb.”  
“If you really want to assist Thomas, be careful, he always tries to sell you a new one instead of repairing it.”  
“Like every other dealer, Mr. Twist,” Ennis added, conquering another step toward the old man.  
“So it’s decided, let’s eat now.” Claire said, putting the meat pie on the table. 

On Friday, while he was waiting for Thomas, Ennis was thinking about the old reservoir, how to fill it again and have more water to irrigate the fields.  
He saw Thomas approaching half an hour later; he was now standing by the window, pretending to read an old magazine somebody had left on a chair. He had hoped for a delay, a sudden change of schedule, but Thomas was as punctual as the tax officer.

That evening, Ennis realised how tired he was only when he went to bed. After helping Thomas Everett with the engine, he had noticed one of the tyres of John’s truck was dangerously low ; he didn’t find the spare tyre and Claire couldn’t help him. So Ennis cleaned the dust and grease off himself before taking the damaged tyre to Phil Garrison’s garage on the interstate, where the Twists had had an open account for many years.

Phil was curious to see a stranger with something belonging to a Twist - Ennis later discovered Claire had called the garage in advance – but Ennis purposely kept his mouth shut.   
It was enough for him to meet somebody new once a day.

When he returned home, Claire asked him to cut down an old apple tree and to chop the wood.   
The tree was at the end of the orchard and was larger than the others, his bare arms were a stain in the middle of green leaves. The task became harder than Ennis expected; first he had to cut the branches, then the trunk, hut he didn’t expected what Claire required of him.

“Ennis, if you can uproot the roots I’ll have more space to add new plants.”  
“But it’s not necessary, Mrs Claire, the roots will rot in the ground.”  
“My father always said the best idea is to cut everything.”  
“I could cut the trunk at ground level so it will be easier to move around.”  
“But if you could do what I ask…”

Ennis was nervous now, he didn’t imagine Mrs. Twist could be so insistent in her wishes.  
Maybe Jack was more like his mother than he previously imagined.  
“I could ask Jack to help me with the spade as soon as he comes home.”  
“It isn’t difficult, John always use the tractor, he puts a strong rope around the trunk, turns the engine on and it’s over.”

Ennis wanted to object that the tractor had been repaired only 5 minutes before, that he had seen a man once turn himself over during a similar attempt on a ranch, that the old idea of using arms and spade was the best, but Mrs. Twist was hard as a rock. 

So he took the tractor’s key again from its rack in the barn and went looking for the strongest rope on the whole ranch.

He kept on cursing himself for being so weak with a woman. She’s like my mother, when they set their minds on something, nobody will make them change it… they’re all the same.

He positioned and tied the rope, using also a large branch that was still attached, verified Claire’s approval of his technical skill and jumped on the small black seat. God, make this old pig work, for once, please.

The tractor moved and Ennis checked behind his back; the rope tensed, the engine roared, Claire smiled. Ennis gave it more gas, ready to get down and push down the damned tree with his own hands. It wasn’t necessary, the tractor in the end lifted the tree easily, but just as Ennis was about to stop it, a cloud of dark smoke erupted from the engine.

Claire retreated immediately into the kitchen. Ennis remained immobile until - a few minutes later - Jack’s truck appeared from the south corner of the house. Jack was ready to greet Ennis when he saw his friend nestled on the seat with the wheel still in his hand. 

Jack parked the truck and approached. Stormy clouds were running over Ennis’ face. Jack was afraid his father would make a mess, shouting at his friend or worse. John Twist remained inside the truck, looking first at Ennis, whose face became more and more sad, then at the tree.

“I bet my wife asked you to do it,” John told Ennis. He obtained a nod only. “It’s the same old story. Claire says roots aren’t good and she always wants to destroy them.”

Ennis turned toward Mr. Twist, meeting his gaze. “I’m going to chop this wood before dinner,” he admitted in a defeated tone.  
“That’s a good idea, Jack could help you, too. I’ll feed the pigs.”

Jack and Ennis were soon left alone in the orchard, face to face.  
“I was afraid my father…” Jack started.  
“Shut up, Jack!”  
“Ennis, I…”  
“Your father here, your father there, I’m tired of this story. I have to do what he wants, what your mother wants, what you want, never what I want. I’m not a mule.”  
He turned and headed for the barn. 

Jack remained where he stood. This was the first fight between them since they had arrived there, what if Ennis had a breakdown and really wanted to go away? Jack blamed himself for being so confused and weak, he wanted to follow Ennis but was afraid to say something that might prove more dangerous for them. From past experiences he knew his man preferred to stay alone when angry, so he leaned on a fence nearby and waited.

His patience was rewarded 10 minutes later, when Ennis came out with a double saw. “You can help me get rid of this. I don’t want to see it anymore, I’d like to burn it tonight.”  
The mood was surely better.  
“Sure, Ennis.”  
“I was angry because Everett left only two hours ago and the tractor was perfect.” Ennis was still transferring his rage from the real reason to a good cover.  
“It’s ok, Dad should decide and change the tractor. I could give…Everett another call.”  
Jack bit his tongue, he was going to say he could pay for a new tractor but money was still a sore point between him and Ennis.

TBC

Please add your comment, thanks.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8 

This is the sequel to “Mexico”, ten days after its end. 

Disclaimer: the talented Mrs Proulx owns the original story and characters. 

 

///////////////////

A week later.

Ennis was in a dark room, the only light a small window near the ceiling.

It was damp inside, he was sweating profusely when he felt the hot breath of somebody on his neck.

He turned, trying to see who it was, but it was impossible. What little light there was, was coming from an intermittent source.   
Then a hand touched his bare arm. 

Ennis jumped at the sudden contact and also at the male voice that started calling his name with a strange accent. It wasn’t a voice he could recognize, but it was so similar to his father’s.

The light started to grow and he discovered the room had white walls, partially covered by coloured plaids. There were two men inside with him, one was looking out through the door, the other was half lying on a bed. The first man closed the door and approached Ennis.  
“We are ready.”  
“What?”  
“Senor, we are here for you,” the man said, touching Ennis’ cheeks, who lifted his arm defensively to repel the unwelcome contact. 

Ennis noticed the man was very young, with long black eyelashes that matched his dark eyes. His complexion was olive and greasy, his lips were full, like those of women.

The other man started unbuttoning his trousers, he wore no underwear and revealed a full erect penis.

The first man took Ennis’ hand and placed it on his own crotch. “Do you like it, senor? We can have you as you like, top or bottom.”  
“I don’t want anything!”  
“We are here for you, your friend paid us for the whole night.”  
“I don’t have friends!”  
“No? El senor Charles Del Mar gave us a lot of money.” He spoke the name with a perfect accent.  
“My father? It’s impossible. He’s dead. It’s a bad joke.”

The second man got up and took Ennis from behind by the waist, trying to lead him to the bed.  
Ennis reacted and started kicking everywhere, but the other two were stronger than him. He scratched and bit faces and arms, wanting to escape, but in the end they tied him to the bed. Ennis tried to freed himself from the ropes that were making deep wounds on his wrists.   
Now he was terrified, because both men were naked and the first was unbuttoning his shirt, while the other was touching himself. Ennis had to endure being touched everywhere. He tensed when e felt two hands on either side of his face. A head was slowly descending toward him. 

At the first contact of cold lips on his own Ennis woke up screaming and shaking, sheets and pillows tangled on the floor. 

His breathing was so heavy he didn’t hear the sound Jack made opening the door and entering, followed soon by Claire. Jack was dressed in only a pair of jeans, while Claire had on a blue dressing-gown over a night dress. She was the portrait of anxiety and approached the bed to hug Ennis, who was so upset from the dream that his first reaction was to keep her at arm’s length.

But Claire was all sweetness and maternal care, just the opposite of his dream.

Jack had the painful desire to touch Ennis in the same way, although he knew it was strictly forbidden. He expressed his concern with words. “You were yelling like something was attacking you”   
“It was a bad dream.”  
“Dreams pass swiftly, dear boy.” Claire stated, keeping one of Ennis hands between hers.  
“It should have been very bad, because you woke up the whole house and the barn!” Jack added.   
“Sorry, Jack, sorry, Mrs. Twist.”

“Big boys like you and Jack are terrible with bad dreams. It’s better now?”  
“Surely, Mrs. Twist.” Ennis was still shivering.  
“Would you like a cup of hot milk? It is always a good idea.” Claire proposed. Ennis nodded, he was still so traumatized that he welcomed with pleasure every possible comfort.

“It would be a good idea if you slept in the armchair here for tonight, it’s already 5 o’clock. ” Claire told her son while she was leaving for the kitchen.   
“I’ll take a pillow from my room,” Jack answered, glad to have a valid excuse to stay near Ennis.   
“Here.” Ennis picked up one from the floor and handed it to Jack, who wrapped himself up with a plaid blanket that was already on the armchair. 

Claire returned with the glass and wished them both a good night.  
“Please leave the door open, Mom.”  
“Yes, Jack, I’ll tell your father everything is OK now.”  
“Mrs. Twist, thanks. Excuse me for the trouble.”   
“Don’t worry, Ennis, now try to sleep for a while.”  
“I don’t know if I can sleep again tonight.”  
“Well, I bet you and Jack have so many things to discuss if you cannot rest.”

When Claire was safely in her room, behind a closed door, Ennis described to Jack the details of his dream, including the reference to his own father. He explained what happened to Earl and Rich many years ago and his personal fear that Del Mar Senior was directly involved in the homicide. When Jack heard about the macabre show Ennis’ father had forced his young sons to witness, he clenched his fists so hard his knuckles turned white.

Jack started dozing off soon, while Ennis remained awake. He was too afraid to sleep, for when he closed his eyes he was back again in that Mexican room. 

All his life he had avoided queers, he had been taught by his family that they deserved to be punished for their behaviour against God’s will. The idea of being close to one of those men had been unbearable for him, let alone the idea of being one of them. 

So when he met Jack his brain separated Jack from the rest of the world. 

Jack was his private secret nobody had to know about or see. It was easy when they were up on Brokeback, or thrice a year amid the silence of the mountains. Then came his Mexican trip and the family he found at the ranch.

Now he was able to admit he and Jack were simply a couple, like Earl and Rich.   
His dream was a revelation, he wanted and needed a man and that man had one name only. Jack Twist. 

No one else.   
It was Jack’s fault, he had ruined Ennis for any other man or woman? 

It was nobody’s fault, Ennis told himself. 

The awareness was like being shot for Ennis, but shortly afterwards he experienced a new sensation, an inner peace.

He wasn’t angry with Jack anymore, instead he looked at the sleeping form in front of him and smiled. 

TBC


End file.
